Music is one of the constants of our species. It was here long before we were and it will be here long after Keith Richards dies in 2056. The ironic thing its longevity is due to the fact that music constantly evolves at a breakneck speed to stay relevant. For something that’s been around for millions of years it’s quite amazing that in the last 30 years we’ve seen the advent of punk, hip hop and ska among others genres of music.
Sometimes this is for the good. The Paladia channel is one of the greatest ideas in the history of cable TV and music. With the possible exception of Remote Control, MTV aint’ got nothing on Paladia. Paladia’s decision to devote an entire channel to airing high definition recordings of classic concert footage ranks it right up there in the pantheon of great cable TV decisions along with ESPN, NFL Sunday Ticket’s Red Zone channel and Cinemax’s decision to corner the 13-17 year old male market with its late night programming.
But then again even the best of ideas can go horribly, horribly wrong. BTW, if you're Train's manager and you don't stop this you're not doing your job. And if you're a program at Paladia and this makes it on to the air, you're not doing your job either. And sometimes a musical idea can even go from so right - the Sugar Hill Gang leads to Biggie - to so wrong - Biggie leads to the P Diddy upper body dance... which we can all agree is utterly horrible.
But amongst all this chaos there are constants. I’m no sociologist, but I’m guessing music originated when some caveman figured that starting a band was a better way to get laid than the whole club and hair pulling thing.
Another constant is the near-universal opinion that one’s generation produced the best music and that all subsequent generations are tone-deaf. My great-grandfather probably told grandpa that Glenn Miller couldn’t hold Frederic Chopin’s baton. And my grandfather probably told my father that Elton John wasn’t man enough play piano in Glenn Miller’s band (don’t underestimate the power of the greatest generation’s gay-dar). And I do remember my father shaking his head at the “wailing” that was Eddie Vedder and asking if I ever listened to Rocket Man. And I know that someday I’ll tell my kid to turn that shit down so I can watch my Seinfeld reruns.
Don’t believe me? Then take a quick inventory of your iPod. While a great deal of your inventory may have come from “before your time” (but you still heard these for the first time at an early age) I’m guessing that about 90% of the songs were released prior to your 30th birthday. Why is this?
It’s the memory of youth. For us it’s not necessarily the music itself, but the memories triggered by the song itself. The band Orgy released a remake* of the New Order song Blue Monday. Both the song and the bad are lacking most, if not all, redeeming musical qualities. Yet I have fond memories of the song specifically because of the memories I associate with it.
* Side Note: Is there anything more predictable than a mediocre band having a moderate hit from a remake from a specific genre, failing to generate a follow-up with their own music and then resorting to covering another song from that same genre? FYI Orgy's song was You Spin Me.
Billy Corgan might think he’s the second coming of Ludwig van Beethoven, but in reality he’s just a self-indulgent apathetic whiner that rode a generations’ angst* and a couple of clever videos to stardom. Yet a smile still comes to my face when Disarm hits my ear and I remember my first real concert at Redbird Arena. Or try to watch this… or this… or this. Can you tell me that those songs didn’t bring you a smile and a memory? That’s the power of music.
* Side Note II: Is there a generation with a flimsier excuse to be angst ridden then Generation X? Economic prosperity, check. No threat of being drafted into a war, check. A vast assortment of entertainment options, check. Free porn on the Internet, check. The fall of the Soviet Union, check. What were we so pissed about? This might be a future blog subject… or just a link to 427 shitty sociology theses.
The beats, the lyrics, they resonate because music is the most effective memory trigger mechanism for the human memory. We essentially create a soundtrack of our lives. And don’t think you’re the only one that thinks their existence would be enhanced with theme music. I have mine, you have yours… and nothing is better than our own nostalgia set to our music.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Iowa v. Iowa State Thoughts
A few quick thoughts on the morning after... the Cyclones may have walked home at about 4:00 in the afternoon, but I believe that performance allows us to add a second definition to the term walk of shame here.
What the *#$& is the ISU Mascot
Called the cyclones, but there seems to be some kind of bird roaming the sidelines. And that bird looks a lot like a certain University of Iowa mascot.
Let's see... walking bird, check. "I" on the chest, check. Bared teeth, check. Angry look, check. No pants, check.
Let's see... walking bird, check. "I" on the chest, check. Bared teeth, check. Angry look, check. No pants, check.
I'm not a patent attorney, but maybe the folks up in Ames should change their name to the Iowa State Copyright Infringers. Here's a tip folks, if your buddy has a 
black Ford Taurus and you buy a red Ford Taurus, you still have a Ford Taurus. So while you may hang your high school graduation tassel from the rear view mirror, add a spoiler and throw a racing strip down the side it's still the same car. The only difference is that your neighbor's car is capable of driving 10 yards without breaking down.
black Ford Taurus and you buy a red Ford Taurus, you still have a Ford Taurus. So while you may hang your high school graduation tassel from the rear view mirror, add a spoiler and throw a racing strip down the side it's still the same car. The only difference is that your neighbor's car is capable of driving 10 yards without breaking down. And to add insult to injury, check out this shirt from the ISU athletic department. "It's not a Hawkeye... it's RED!" Congrats ISU, I feel sorry for you for the first time.
Setting the Bar... Low
If your team treats a non-conference game played in the second week of the season like a bowl that's a sign your team is going nowhere. If your opponent in that game is the University of Iowa, it's a sign that you have the worst inferiority complex since Jan Brady. Well that and if you try to steal their mascot then denying doing so.
If your team treats a non-conference game played in the second week of the season like a bowl that's a sign your team is going nowhere. If your opponent in that game is the University of Iowa, it's a sign that you have the worst inferiority complex since Jan Brady. Well that and if you try to steal their mascot then denying doing so.
How much has ISU overstated the importance of this game, well the dedicated a whole week to game prep and built a web site specifically for this game. Does Michigan have a Beat OSU site? How about Texas and OU? ISU has essentially gone beyond treating this game like a Bowl Game and moved straight to treating it like the Super Bowl.
And way to show up for your Super Bowl fellas. Did you consult Marv Levy for methods to prepare?
The Cy-Hawk Trophy
I realize that the well meaning folks of Iowa State want to play for something, because they ceased playing for pride sometime around 1:00 CST, but this has to be the ugliest, least interesting trophy out there. Iowa needs to put it's foot down. If it ain't a pig, we're not playing for it.
Can we just give this to Iowa State every year as an perfect attendance award? Great work showing up on time fellas, here's your trophy. Of course you'll have to repeat the 7th grade again because of you have trouble grasping the basics but your perseverance is an inspiration to morons everywhere.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Science of Rivalries
There are certain things that can’t be considered from a rationale perspective. Relationships. Political debates after the 4th drink of the evening. Religion. Art. Sarah Palin. Rivalries.
That last one is new to me as I’ve always thought that rivalries should rationale. The traditional thought is that a rivalry needs three basic elements; geographic proximity, regular match-ups and an evenly matched opposition. If you got doses of those three, you probably have a rivalry. But I don’t think that’s the case anymore. Let me illustrate using my alma mater the Harvard of the Midwest*, aka The University of Iowa.
* This is a joke people… I realize that Iowa is at best the Harvard of Iowa. Years ago on a recruiting visit to Miami (OH) the tour guide actually referred to the school as the Harvard of the Midwest without a trace of sarcasm. This one sentence ended my desire to attend Miami (OH). That and the fact it was located in Ohio.
Geographic proximity used to be a must-have – after all, familiarity breeds contempt. But the explosion of ESPN and the rise of the Internet and social media, you no longer have to share a fence with someone to develop a deep-seeded dislike of someone. Twenty years ago I could have cared less about the relative merits of the various conferences… it has no discernable impact on the performance of my team. But this debate on the SEC as the nation’s premier college football conference has subjected me to an endless string of articles, comment posts, radio shows, etc that spend hours upon hours exploring the “SEC rules, the Big Ten sucks” story line.
At first I took the “who gives a shit” defense. But after three years they’ve successfully annoyed me to the point where I have an irrational hatred of the SEC in general and point out that Iowa has beaten LSU and Florida in their own backyard in the past five years. That and no SEC team has played a regular season game outside of the confederacy since the Wing-T offense fell out of favor. And given the admission standards of some of those schools I’m guessing that the next time an SEC player has to play in the snow he would attempt to bottle up some snow to take it back to campus… and then be given an A+ in advanced chemistry for proving that it can’t snow in 75 degree weather.
Regular encounters used to be a must, and it still is. But because college teams compete for the same recruits and pro teams go after the same free agents that competition now comes in the form of the offseason team building. Back in the day you had no idea what type of recruits you were getting, the only way I judged a recruit was by the schools Iowa beat out. And let’s just say you could see the end of the Hayden Fry era ending poorly when we’d routinely get recruits to choose Iowa over Kent State, Western Michigan and the rest of the sisters of the MAC.
Nowadays the Internet scrutinizes these kids closer than the IRS reviewing Willie Nelson’s tax returns. Everyone gets attached to these kids as the next savior of the program. Call it the backup quarterback syndrome, because these kids have never cost their team a game and some recruiting “expert” compares them to Eddie George complete strangers now take an 18 year-old’s decision way-to-personally. And when some random school beats your team for the services of some kid, you decry his decision like he’s making the worst mistake of his life and resent the kid, and his school, for no reason.
The most seemingly rationale element is the last, evenly matched opposition. What do Yankees v. Red Sox, Michigan v. Ohio State, and Packers v. Bears have in common? They’re all relatively even teams that have routinely met in high stakes games over a long period of time. But how do you explain the Cubs and the Cardinals? They have played about 12 times per year for the last 75 years but when have those games meant something in the standings? The few times that the Cubs have been in the pennant race over the past several decades have coincided with down years for the Cards.
From a rationale perspective, the Cubs should not be considered anyone’s rival. It’s simply impossible to hate a team that routinely lets you take the season series. But Brewers and Cards fans hate the Cubs. Is there a rationale reason for that? Wouldn’t they be angry if you dropped the Cubs off their schedules and brought in the Yankees? But this might be an exception, I think the hatred has more to do with the fact that those fans reside in Milwaukee and St. Louis. If I lived there I’d be bitter too.
So I come to the Iowa v. Iowa State rivalry. I should have no reason to hate Iowa State, the Pittsburgh Pirates of the Big 12. This is a team that might struggle to win the Illinois High School 4A title… they’ve essentially been taking Iowa’s recruiting leftovers for years… their idea of a meaningful bowl game takes place during the second Saturday in September… Ames is just a bit more enticing that downtown Gary… the campus is a living embodiment of the term “sausagefest.” And yet, I still can’t stand the sight of those red and yellow uniforms slowly chasing the opposition down the field and throwing their hands in the air as the opposition crosses the goal line again… and again… and again, in the first quarter.
It just goes to show that there are some things you can’t rationalize. I hate Iowa State.
That last one is new to me as I’ve always thought that rivalries should rationale. The traditional thought is that a rivalry needs three basic elements; geographic proximity, regular match-ups and an evenly matched opposition. If you got doses of those three, you probably have a rivalry. But I don’t think that’s the case anymore. Let me illustrate using my alma mater the Harvard of the Midwest*, aka The University of Iowa.
* This is a joke people… I realize that Iowa is at best the Harvard of Iowa. Years ago on a recruiting visit to Miami (OH) the tour guide actually referred to the school as the Harvard of the Midwest without a trace of sarcasm. This one sentence ended my desire to attend Miami (OH). That and the fact it was located in Ohio.
Geographic proximity used to be a must-have – after all, familiarity breeds contempt. But the explosion of ESPN and the rise of the Internet and social media, you no longer have to share a fence with someone to develop a deep-seeded dislike of someone. Twenty years ago I could have cared less about the relative merits of the various conferences… it has no discernable impact on the performance of my team. But this debate on the SEC as the nation’s premier college football conference has subjected me to an endless string of articles, comment posts, radio shows, etc that spend hours upon hours exploring the “SEC rules, the Big Ten sucks” story line.
At first I took the “who gives a shit” defense. But after three years they’ve successfully annoyed me to the point where I have an irrational hatred of the SEC in general and point out that Iowa has beaten LSU and Florida in their own backyard in the past five years. That and no SEC team has played a regular season game outside of the confederacy since the Wing-T offense fell out of favor. And given the admission standards of some of those schools I’m guessing that the next time an SEC player has to play in the snow he would attempt to bottle up some snow to take it back to campus… and then be given an A+ in advanced chemistry for proving that it can’t snow in 75 degree weather.
Regular encounters used to be a must, and it still is. But because college teams compete for the same recruits and pro teams go after the same free agents that competition now comes in the form of the offseason team building. Back in the day you had no idea what type of recruits you were getting, the only way I judged a recruit was by the schools Iowa beat out. And let’s just say you could see the end of the Hayden Fry era ending poorly when we’d routinely get recruits to choose Iowa over Kent State, Western Michigan and the rest of the sisters of the MAC.
Nowadays the Internet scrutinizes these kids closer than the IRS reviewing Willie Nelson’s tax returns. Everyone gets attached to these kids as the next savior of the program. Call it the backup quarterback syndrome, because these kids have never cost their team a game and some recruiting “expert” compares them to Eddie George complete strangers now take an 18 year-old’s decision way-to-personally. And when some random school beats your team for the services of some kid, you decry his decision like he’s making the worst mistake of his life and resent the kid, and his school, for no reason.
The most seemingly rationale element is the last, evenly matched opposition. What do Yankees v. Red Sox, Michigan v. Ohio State, and Packers v. Bears have in common? They’re all relatively even teams that have routinely met in high stakes games over a long period of time. But how do you explain the Cubs and the Cardinals? They have played about 12 times per year for the last 75 years but when have those games meant something in the standings? The few times that the Cubs have been in the pennant race over the past several decades have coincided with down years for the Cards.
From a rationale perspective, the Cubs should not be considered anyone’s rival. It’s simply impossible to hate a team that routinely lets you take the season series. But Brewers and Cards fans hate the Cubs. Is there a rationale reason for that? Wouldn’t they be angry if you dropped the Cubs off their schedules and brought in the Yankees? But this might be an exception, I think the hatred has more to do with the fact that those fans reside in Milwaukee and St. Louis. If I lived there I’d be bitter too.
So I come to the Iowa v. Iowa State rivalry. I should have no reason to hate Iowa State, the Pittsburgh Pirates of the Big 12. This is a team that might struggle to win the Illinois High School 4A title… they’ve essentially been taking Iowa’s recruiting leftovers for years… their idea of a meaningful bowl game takes place during the second Saturday in September… Ames is just a bit more enticing that downtown Gary… the campus is a living embodiment of the term “sausagefest.” And yet, I still can’t stand the sight of those red and yellow uniforms slowly chasing the opposition down the field and throwing their hands in the air as the opposition crosses the goal line again… and again… and again, in the first quarter.
It just goes to show that there are some things you can’t rationalize. I hate Iowa State.
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