Getting a Little Ahead of Myself

The Hawkeyes are 6-0 for the first time since 1985 and the hopes are escalating enough that a 33 year-old man has broken out the "If You Ain't a Hawkeye, You Ain't Shit" shirt for the first time since the pressurized beer bong incident of 2005... which wasn't really an incident until it devolved into a pressurized wine cooler bong when the beer ran out. And last week I even talked myself into buying a box of mementos from the Penn State game for taunting purposes despite the fact I only know one Penn State grad.

So here we are in week 7 coming off more close wins that I care to relive. And I've now talked myself into the Hawks having an 8% chance to play for the national title, where they would get mollywomped by Alabama, USC, Texas or Florida baring some sort of bus accident involving those team's first string offense, defense and a handful of redshirts. But I have to remind myself that these things usually don't end well.

1997. The Hawks storm to a 4-0 record after a tough opening slate featuring Northern Iowa, Tulsa, Iowa State and Illinois. Fortunately, as a Hawks fan with 3 years experience I had long since given up any illusions that the Hawks were going to be a contender under Hayden "Have Nick Bell Run the Draw on 3rd and 8" Fry. And despite the fact that Gameday was on campus, I had no intention of setting foot into a stadium that would ultimately be remembered for Plez Atkins cementing Orlando Pace's draft status. I spend the tailgate hitting range balls in the Slater parking lot and trying to hitch a ride to the bars with an uncooked Brat wedged in my zipper. The Hawks lose. I lose $20 in a longest drive contest. And another $20 in a putting contest.

1995. The Hawks storm to a 5-0 record beating the likes of Northern Iowa, Iowa State, New Mexico State, Michigan State and Indiana. Do you notice the pattern that Fry didn't exactly like to schedule the NFC East towards the end of his tenure? Yet, the campus was a buzz as the team traveled east to play the rebuilding Penn State Nittnay Lions, fresh off a shared national title in 1995 and losing 3 top 10 picks to the NFL. As SOP dictates, I went out the night before, probably to the Sports Column with a 1:00 am run to The Union... probably wearing my Absolute Irish t-shirt. (To those who knew me back then, a sarcastic thanks for the wardrobe advice.) The game started at 11:00. I wake up at 11:20. The score was 21-0. I went back to bed. The Hawks went back to the Sun Bowl. And we spent the winter watching the legend of Chris Kingsbury take shape and listening to the more myopic of Hawks fans talk about how Iowa outscored Penn State 10-7 in the second half.

1985. I wasn't around for this season. At this point in my life Iowa wasn't even the school that turned in Illinois for the Deon Thomas situation. But this is a season that ended in such infamy that I grew more obsessed with finding a Hawkeye fan that didn't think Ronnie Harmon threw the Rose Bowl than Dr. Richard Kimball trying to prove his innocence. (BTW, can you recognize the one politician staring at the camera at the 1:00 mark?) But to this day it remains the only time Iowa was involved in a #1 v. #2 game, and probably the only time in my lifetime.

So what am I getting at? The journey has, and hopefully will continue to be, fun with a few more trips to Shadows and maybe even a road trip to Columbus. But it will most likely end in 2009. And by most likely I mean 92% most likely... but there's always that 8% chance.