What We Learned from the Cubs this Week

Some quick thoughts on the state of the Cubs... who appear to be unraveling faster than Glenn Beck at an advance screening of a Michael Moore documentary.

What We Learned from the Phillies Series

• The Pedro Martinez of 1999 could have beaten the Cubs left handed.
• It is impossible to underestimate the lack of intelligence of someone with a chin-strap beard. Especially when they’re from the suburbs.
• Yes, the Phillies are good. Yes, they will make the playoffs. But calm down Phillies fan… the Cubs aren't exactly the best measuring stick for teams with World Series aspirations. You don’t see Yankee fans staging an impromptu parade trough the Bronx when they sweep the Orioles.
• There are a lot of Phillies fans that wear their hats backwards despite being born in the 70s.
• The Phillies can mash. But someone is going to do this to Brad Lidge in the playoffs if he keeps pitching like this.
• There will be no complaining about the virtual waiting room from Cubs fans when it comes times for buying playoff tickets.

What We Can Look Forward with the Pirates’ Series

• A 90 loss team the Cubs can beat (not to be confused with the 85 loss teams the Cubs can split with).
• The return of Aramis Ramirez… for a futile stretch run that leads to some debilitating injury in a meaningless game versus the Astros in September.
• Aaron Miles won’t be the worst player in uniform… arguably.
• But he won’t be the most overpriced… inarguably.
• “Cheap” walk up tickets from scalpers.
• The Pirates have essentially re-created the Indians team from Major League. Just try to look at their roster without saying “who in the #$*& are these guys” or “most of these guys never had a prime.”
• The Pirates slogan for 2009 is “Pride. Passion. The Pittsburgh Pirates.” I think someone in the Pirates marketing department mixed up their slogan ideas with their kid’s “which one doesn't belong” workbook.